Steamers Wiki

Welcome to the Wiki[]


  1. Don't take an arrow in the knee.
  2. I am Groot.
  3. Don't cross the streams.
  4. Don't troll like Noah.
  5. Don't do it.
  6. Don't drop the soap.
  7. Don't drop the bass either.
  8. Don't drop the bucket.
  9. Don't let Benedict in the house.
  10. Humungousaur.
  11. Humungousaur.
  12. Humungousaur.
  13. Laws aren't meant to be broken.
  14. Say my name.
  15. You're god damn right.
  16. You're getting a ticket.
  17. That meme wasn't dark enough.
  18. My name is Jeff.
  19. Sit on tha toilet.
  20. Prepare your anus.
  21. 9 + 10.
  22. Numa Numa.
  23. Ben.
  24. What is your name?
  25. Funnier than 24.
  26. Don't look at the box.
  27. Shhhhhhjustletithappen
  28. Let it Go.
  29. Tell us what the fox says.
  30. Illuminati.
  31. No girls allowed.
  32. Alexis doesn't count.
  33. Follow rules 1-5.
  34. Show us the porn.
  35. We don't know what to add here. 
  36. We really don't.
  37. Follow rule 34.
  38. 21.
  39. Don't follow rule 4.
  40. 40th rule!
  41. Boys rule.
  42. We are really outdated.
  43. UNPROFESSIONALPlayer is amazing, obey him 4 lyf.
  44. Don't follow rule 43.
  45. No shipping allowed.
  46. We thrive on shipping.
  48. Rule 47 is too long.
  49. We forgot rule 49 lol.
  50. Laws are meant to be broken.
  51. Alexis is love, Alexis is life.
  52. Go away Nicole.
  53. Sci too.
  54. Alexis does not condone rule 51.
  55. Noah hates everything and everyone.
  56. Rule 47 was meant to be a reply to rules 45 and 46.
  57. This rule is a lie.
  58. The previous rule is also a lie.
  59. The government rules and the two rules before are spam.
  60. So....which line is a lie? All the ones that DON'T say the goverment rules of course, and if thats true and the cake isn't in fact a lie then using the following equelation: 5:0=∞ 
  61. All these rules are just what the government wants you to think. 
  62. Glass of juice, not gas the Jews. 
  63. Noah walrus. I walrus. We all walrus. 
  64. Lol69 
  65. Rule 1 is a lie.
  66. Rule 1 is actually ______
  67. The real rule 1 must always remain hidden.
  68. Why are we talking about rule 1?
  69. Jury Rigg does not condone colored people.
  70. UNPROFESSIONALPlayer fucking hates rule 28.
  71. The Steamers don't know what the illuminati is.
  72. How do they not know what it is if they know the name?
  73. Illuminati confirmed.
  74. Don't break the rules.
  75. A New Dawn.
  76. All about dat rice bout dat rice no egg roll.
  77. Turn the plane around or I mess your hair up so bad your mother never recognize you.
  78. Never mention Vendetta.
  79. Never mention Rocks.
  80. Never mention Pesky Dust.
  81. Never mention Upchuck.
  82. The last four rules contradict themselves.
  83. This rule looks like two pairs of boobs.
  84. Don't be a fgt.
  85. Nudity is only allowed in shipping artwork.
  86. If you see a red light, go.
  87. Welcome to my swamp.
  88. Go back and re-read all rules up until now.
  89. I'm making these at 4:34 AM.
  90. Don't talk about Mudkip. He's overrated and Squirtle is better.
  91. Lol69backwards
  92. Big money, big women, big fun.
  93. No pants allowed.
  94. Problems but a bitch ain't one.
  95. Cash dolla dolla dolla.
  96. Dalmations.
  97. Rule 91 is a rape joke lol.
  98. We all wish we got to rule 420 sooner so we can make a joke.
  99. Gay fanfiction is allowed.
  100. Don't ever visit Noah's baby factory.
  101. Stop asking for a fight club joke.
  102. The previous rule is invisible.
  103. uʍop ǝpᴉsdn sᴉ ǝlnɹ sᴉɥ┴
  104. How have we gotten to rule 110? 
  105. Don't question us.
  106. Noah is a 12 year old fgt.
  107. Rule 107 is actually the real Rule 1.
  108. No you can't go into the coding to read it.
  109. What did I just say.
  110. God damnit I said no.
  111. Cheeky bugger.
  112. U wot m8
  113. I'll fite u irl
  114. I swear on me mum
  115. U WOT M8
  116. Ello Gov'nor.
  117. Yes we actually made a Regular Show reference, sue us.
  118. Most of these aren't actually rules, but still follow them.
  119. u wot m69420blazeitmlgnoscopes4lyf7irl8
  120. Rule 97 binds the Steamers together.
  121. Rule 97 is mixing heists with BBW.
  122. Cursing isn't allowed.
  123. If you actually listen to rule 128 we're banning you.
  125. UNPROFESSIONALPlayer is gay.
  126. Alexis doesn't care.
  127. UNPROFESSIONALPlayer calls her a mother trucker.
  129. Cut, give me a tylenol.
  130. Shhh that's copyright.
  131. I think we're getting all... steamed... up.
  132. ...Alan wrote 137.
  133. UNPROFESSIONALPLayer hates 137.
  134. Started from the bottom now we here.
  135. God damnit Sif stop telling me rules to make when I'm trying to edit.
  136. Zucchinis, martinis, no weenies.
  138. It's just the Doctor, not Doctor Who.
  139. You fucking knob you just said Doctor Who didn't you.
  140. I'll rek u
  141. Juan Moarpenis.
  142. Rule 147 is an inside joke.
  143. Don't mind rule 141.
  144. Sif likes UAF.
  145. Oh god, did Dan Didio write that?
  146. These rules are better than Man of Steel.
  147. Lost internet connection with Alan on Skype.
  148. Ignore rule 153.
  149. One of these days some of these rules will be super outdated.
  150. This is being written on 1/6/15. 
  151. Fapping isn't okay.
  152. Don't bring up religion.
  153. Wikia should remove this wiki.
  154. Laws are meant to be broken.
  155. Wait, isn't that rule 50? 
  156. We're running out of ideas.
  157. Halp.
  158. Nope.
  159. No.
  160. NO.
  161. Sorry.
  162. Hahahaha!
  163. Weeeee!
  165. Pissed off peeing.
  166. Speaking Chinese.
  167. Sadly go-karts.
  168. Yawns emotionally.
  169. Urinating forcefully.
  170. Sighing, farting, shitting.
  171. Heroin-induced snoring.
  172. Funky mystery music.
  173. Screams in perfect pitch.
  174. Breathing emotionally.
  175. Speaks Korean.
  176. Wet fart.
  177. I can't understand anything this bitch is saying.
  178. It's like some Japanese dyslexia.
  179. Spanish.
  180. Spanish.
  181. Loudly implied cannibalism.
  182. Angrily fixes bow tie.
  183. Fucks up consistently.
  184. Trampoline springs dinging softly.
  185. Makes "I don't know" sound.
  186. Stealing intensifies.
  187. Pornstache chuckles.
  188. Bird squawking in distance.
  189. Zombies banging.
  190. Crying.
  191. Imitates crying sarcastically.
  192. Screaming like sissy.
  193. Sobbing mathematically.
  194. Stares enviously at Sam's hair.
  195. Ignore rules 171-200.
  196. How much did the holla cost? 
  197. Knock Knock.
  198. Here comes the cock.
  199. Sif came in like a wrecking ball.
  200. We're 206 rules in and we still don't have a fight club joke. 
  201. Ice puns are cool.
  202. We are so desperate for more rules we make puns now.
  203. Porn.
  204. Asking Alan for more rules.
  205. The n word is not offensive. 
  206. Alexis is fapping busy.
  207. Noah is sleeping like an asshole.
  208. You wanna know what looks better on the computer?
  209. The answer to rule 214 is rule 209.
  210. Can your pet.
  211. I broke da rules.
  212. Rule 216 does not have a question mark.
  213. We are terrible people.
  214. Insert Fight Club Joke Here.
  215. [Cries in Spanish]
  216. Wails in Swedish.
  217. Dogs have ruff days.
  218. Brooms truly swept the nation.
  219. I made a clone just to say I was beside myself.
  220. Several bad puns later...
  221. If a red and blue ship collide, they're marooned.
  222. Sometimes it's like my rabbit doesn't carrot all.
  223. PewDiePie is barrely worthy of being most subscribed.
  224. Shovels are ground breaking.
  225. The wheel got everything rolling.
  226. If I were jailed for these, it would be a pun-ishment.
  227. I threw a computer at you cause I was monitoring you.
  228. A female piece of meat is a Miss Take.
  229. A pony asked me for a glass of water cause she was a little horse.
  230. Do you wanna taco bout it?
  231. It's nacho problem
  232. He was jalapeno business.
  233. Dolphins make puns on porpoise.
  234. Cheese is grateful.
  235. How does Moses make coffee
  236. Hebrews it
  237. I said I wouldn't Raichu a Pokemon song.
  238. Bone jokes are humerus.
  239. Paper towels went missing. Hired a bounty hunter.
  240. The Italian chef who died pasta way.
  241. Colorful aquatic mammal. Oh, the hue-manatee.
  242. An awkward word is an awkword.
  243. When the grape was crushed it let out a little wine.
  244. Every potato you have ever met was a WHORE.
  245. ALAN STOP
  246. Brothers United is allowed.
  247. Are you guys annoyed at how we're not making legitimate rules? Fine.
  248. Cursing is allowed.
  249. Racism isn't allowed.
  250. Please don't insult any religion.
  251. Don't bring up any real life tragic events (9/11, etc). This is to avoid conflicts.
  252. Due to Wikia rules, porn isn't allowed. 
  253. Please do not fight, try to be mature.
  254. Please do not post wrong information about us, don't be like BTP. Make sure you get your facts straight.
  255. Do not ask for chat mod or admin, we will judge you by numerous things. 
  256. See how boring this is? JESUS!
  257. Even Jesus is... cross... with us about boring rules.
  258. About 261, you need the correct Koalafications.
  259. They won't be Irrelephant.
  260. Not Lion.
  261. Are these unbearable?
  262. Maybe we should add something good, Owl wait until that happens.
  263. Haaaaaaaaaaaaawkward.
  264. This is giraffing me crazy.
  265. Alpaca my things and go away.
  266. Let minnow when I'm allowed back.
  267. Rules 263-272 need to check out rule 251.
  268. Need to make a rule about that.
  270. Rules 263-272 need to see 275. 
  271. You could say it was jalapeno business...?
  272. That was bad, i'm sorry.
  273. Fucking sifaggot i'll swallow your soul.
  274. Jorgen will strangle me at rule 217.
  275. Holy fucking old.
  276. Rule 282 is a legitimate rule, don't say anything too old.
  277. Old people smell.
  278. Winking at old people.
  279. 285 is messed up.
  280. You think we can make it to Rule 775? 
  281. That would be overkill if you ask me.
  282. We're actually 289 rules in, we have no lives.
  283. The secret for youtube money is the forbidden rule 1.
  284. Don't edit the rules.
  285. These are eggcelent.
  286. Stop yolking around.
  287. These are cracking me up.
  288. I have a scrambled sense of humor.
  289. But I like personalities to be sunny side up.
  290. What do you call medicine that's just hanging around?
  291. Penichillin.
  292. I tried to think of a shocking lightning pun but now my head hertz, it's so revolting. It's not an electrifying experience.
  293. Bad puns. Bad puns everywhere.
  294. 2spoopy4me
  295. Subcroob 2 Spoob.
  296. What if rule 1 is a fight club reference?
  297. Well, we don't talk about it.
  298. Alan stop showing me pictures as i'm making new rules.
  299. 305 rules in--
  301. I'll stop lol.
  302. Dr. Phil vs Xbox
  303. Gay aliens.
  304. Gayliens.
  305. ChamAlien's name is Overkill; Shocksquatch is an EVO.
  306. ChamGaylien.
  307. Mike is buying shit as we speak.
  308. Mike has just bought the White House.
  310. We just got word that Mike has bought the Moon! Holy fuck! 
  311. How many pieces of baloney in a sandwich?
  312. The answer is somewhere in rule 3.
  313. My password is password baloney1.
  314. Not 420 yet.
  315. Need an ark? 
  316. I Noah guy.
  317. It's okay to be gay.
  318. Mig approves of rule 86.
  319. Rule 50 and rule 13 contradict each other, so which one is true?
  320. If laws are meant to be broken then why do we have them?
  321. If laws weren't meant to be broken then why do they break?
  322. The world may never know.
  323. Mike just bought the Andomreda Galaxy, what now?
  324. Rule 324 is mig's rule, you can't steal it.
  325. Gangsta dogs are allowed.
  328. Alanomaly>everything
  329. Rule 333 is the opposite of 666. 
  330. Rule 666 is gay.
  331. Gay satan.
  332. Mike is about to buy something again.
  333. Mike just bought heaven! 
  334. Can't think of a rule.
  335. Well just say the first thing that pops into your mind.
  336. Copyright.
  338. Did you know that fortune cookies aren't even Chinese?
  339. Well, you're fucking retarded.
  340. How's the pie?
  341. So good.
  342. Rule 323 is true, malcolm in the middle told me.
  343. If you're in a mine, kill yourself please.
  344. Fortune cookie tells me that there will be 4 more rules until we get something amazing.
  345. They hate us cause they anus.
  346. They hate us cause they ain't us*
  347. Lets just say i'm gonna give him something special with my hand hehehehe
  348. Eminem is gay.
  349. Something amazing.
  350. Haters gonna hate.
  351. Ain'ters gonna ain't.
  352. That's not an actual thing people say.
  353. OS was better than AF.
  354. AF was better than MoS.
  355. MoS was better than- ok nevermind.
  356. Indonesia has completely black chickens.
  357. 363 can cause a racist joke.
  358. 13.
  359. 364 is not referring to 13, but to something else.
  360. Is it too late to change the name?
  361. Motherfucking money.
  362. Alan has more subs than Sif.
  363. Motherfucking money.
  364. Even has more views than him.
  365. Motherfucking money.
  366. That makes no sense though.
  367. How does Alan have more than Sif?
  368. Illogical.
  369. Alan forgot to tell me about the rules.
  370. He actually did tell me but i'm a fuck.
  371. How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? 
  372. You look for fresh prince. 
  373. Whale whale whale. 
  374. Noah should read these. 
  375. Laws are meant to be broken. 
  376. Alan is a fuckface. 
  377. Laws are meant to be broken.
  378. Laws are meant to be broken.
  379. Laws are meant to be broken.
  380. Laws are meant to be broken.
  381. Bored.
  382. 388
  383. 389
  384. 390. 
  385. Arnold is Bach. 
  386. Bach who
  387. Back you momma tupac
  388. confirim
  389. Knock Knock.
  390. Who's there? 
  391. Sup.
  392. Sup who?
  393. Superman! 
  394. Superman on what? 
  395. 420 joke coming up soon. 
  396. It's been almost 2 years why am i editing this again
  397. literally most of what's on this list is irrelevant now and steamers is dead
  398. fun fact: this was my room number back in canadia
  399. harambe is a dead meme
  400. 1918 was a good year
  401. Hitler did nothing wrong.
  402. Rule 255 is irrelvant as of 11/21/2016.
  403. سسيسابس stupid americans شممشاع شنلاشق سقهقشةو سهققشةووووووو
  404. Ethan's middle name changes everyday depending on mood. 
  405. Alan currently has 218 subscribers as of writing this.
  406. we should probably transition this into Wolfpack rules now shouldn't we
  407. At times like this, you should quench your thirst with a delicious Wolf Cola.
  408. There's nothing like this.
  409. To wash away the sorrow.
  410. Ahmad is the unofficial fourth member of the Wolfpack who is never coming back.
  411. Ethan was considered for less than a second but we all know the answer to that one.
  412. Noah has faded into irrelevance the only ones left standing are sif, alan and alecksis
  413. sif makes typos every fucking sentence send fucking help fucking please
  414. i guess you could say it was BOLD of me to writ
  415. it's the tail end of 2016 and we're still making puns god help us
  416. our humour nowadays is pretty dark, gruesome and funny but also full of references
  417. yes humour, always spell it like that. like colours, rumours, aaroun, 
  418. oh yeah missed a 420 joke rip 
  419. then again it is 2016

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